If you've been asked to be a pallbearer and too emotional, you might want to decline the offer. They are not only bearing the physical weight, but they bear the emotional weight as well. It's a great honor to serve as pallbearer but it's not a role for everyone. The term pallbearer comes from the word pall, which is a heavy cloth used to cover a casket. If a person is carrying a coffin covered will a pall, then they're "bearing the pall. Create a free Cake end-of-life planning profile and instantly share your health, legal, funeral, and legacy decisions with a loved one.
A pallbearer is a key part of the ceremonial procession into the church service and to the gravesite. They must carry the casket with strength and reverence. They'll usually meet at the funeral home after the family says their final goodbyes.
Once the family exits the funeral home, the pallbearers will lift the casket onto a church truck. This device is on wheels and folds down when placed inside of the hearse. Once the casket is secure in the hearse, the pallbearers will join the funeral procession. They often ride in a special car or limousine so they can meet the casket as soon as it arrives at the gravesite. This vehicle drives immediately behind the hearse and the other vehicles following behind.
At the funeral service or mass, the pallbearers will carry the casket down the aisle and to the front of the church. If the service is Christian or Catholic, a priest or religious leader may bless the casket at the entrance of the church. Funeral songs or religious hymns are often played during this time. The immediate family will walk in front of or behind the casket in the procession. It's symbolic for them to walk in with the casket as others bow and offer their prayers and condolences.
Once the service is over, they'll carry the casket from the church into the hearse. At the gravesite, they'll help lift the casket out of the hearse and deliver it to the graveside. When the casket arrives at the gravesite it's placed on a device that lowers into the ground. The casket is not lowered to the ground by the pallbearers. At the end of the service, the funeral director and staff are in charge of lowering the casket. The pallbearers at a funeral service are usually chosen by the family of the deceased.
Pallbearers are often chosen from the friends and family of the deceased person. In the past it was considered inappropriate to choose members of the immediate family so they could focus on the service and handling their sense of loss, but this is no longer the case.
A family can also ask the church to assist with finding pallbearers if they don't have any options, such as not having enough family available for the service.
Most churches and funeral directors will assist a family with soliciting church members or staff to help out as pallbearers. Emotionally, it can be difficult to be a pallbearer as you will spend some time close to the coffin of the deceased and it may be hard to keep your grief in check.
Physically, you will need to have some amount of strength to help carry the coffin. An empty coffin can weigh between 60 and pounds. In some funerals, the coffin is carried on the pallbearers' shoulders, while at others it is carried at their average waist height. Some funerals will use rolling stands with wheels, called "wheel biers," to help make carrying the coffin easier. Females can definitely be pallbearers, although a smaller female with less upper body strength may not wish to be a pallbearer.
This is especially the case for a funeral where the coffin will be held on the shoulders. However, if a wheel bier is used to assist with transportation, the ability to carry a heavy object like a coffin is not as much of a concern. Usually pallbearers are at least 16 years of age.
This is due not only to the need for the pallbearer to be tall and strong enough to help with carrying a coffin, but also the emotional aspects of the role. A pallbearer needs to remain calm and reserved during the service, and children are usually not able to remain emotionally mature due to coping with grief and loss. If a child is mature enough to handle the role, at the family's discretion they may allow them to be an honorary pallbearer.
Since there is no coffin to carry in when there is a cremation, pallbearers are not necessary at the service. However, some families appoint pallbearers to walk alongside one person who carries the cremation urn into the service as a symbolic gesture. If you accept the position of pallbearer, you will be expected to follow some basic etiquette rules for pallbearers at funerals.
If the close family of the deceased have selected you as a pallbearer, it shows they trust you and you were very important to the person who has passed away.
Pallbearers carry the deceased to their final resting place, and typically between six to eight people are chosen. If you are asked to be a pallbearer, you should handle the role with dignity and respect. These are some simple etiquette tips and pallbearer advice.
Of course, black or dark colours are usually preferred for the sombre occasion, however sometimes the family of the deceased will request a certain dress code. They may ask for a favourite colour to be worn, for example. The important thing is to look smart, so a dark suit is usually preferred to show respect.
Always aim to arrive early at the funeral, as you will probably need to have a meeting with the funeral directors. All people who serve as a pallbearer need to follow instructions and make sure they are prepared and know what to expect. Even though it is exceptionally difficult, pallbearers are expected to carry the coffin without showing too much emotion.
An emotional outpouring can be distracting and difficult to watch, and will also make carrying the casket even harder. If you think you might find it too distressing, then politely turn down the role. At a funeral, people look to the pallbearers as people of authority, and as part of the service people may look to you for direction. A good rule of thumb for a male pallbearer is to wear a white shirt, dark tie, and suit navy, dark grey or black. Women should also opt for a dark dress or pants suit.
Comfortable and practical footwear is vital. Generally, follow the culture and traditions for the type of funeral you are attending unless told otherwise.
Although traditionally funerals call for dark-colored formal attire, the deceased may have a different and more fun approach to their final wishes. Although wearing something smart is unlikely to offend people, you want to make the day as less stressful and uncomfortable for the family as you can. If you are close enough to be asked to be a pallbearer, then you probably know the values of the family involved and how they might view sunglasses.
The obvious answer is to ask the family directly or the other pallbearers if you know them. From s purely aesthetic standpoint, you would want all the pallbearers to be wearing sunglasses or non at all.
In practical terms, if you are going from an extremely sunny exterior to a darker interior, sunglasses will make the job of carrying the coffin in step with others a lot more difficult. A uniform can add solemnity and meaning to the spectacle of a coffin being carried into a funeral and there are no traditional saying it should happen.
If you are a current or former serviceperson wearing your formal uniform can be a wonderful way of marking the importance of the day. Nevertheless, remember that you will be in very close proximity with others so any part of your uniform which inhibits you walking or seeing might not be ideal for this task. If the funeral is being arranged and led by a funeral director the pallbearers will get training before carrying out their task.
This training will involve an explanation of where the coffin will sit, which direction to turn and walk and how you can carry it with the most comfort. Although not complex, there is a certain amount of choreography that goes into carrying a casket with 3 or 5 other people.
There are many reasons for this from poor health, an unreliable schedule, or not wanting the responsibility. Simply decline the invitation and explain the reason for not wanting to participate. It does not matter how tall you are when it comes to carrying a coffin, although four pallbearers of equal height is ideal.
The funeral director will arrange pallbearers according to their height, normally with the shorter members being at the front and feet of the coffin.
In my experience, people are nervous about being a pallbearer for the following reasons:. This has to be the biggest worry, right? Remember that you will have a team of funeral home employees around you helping you look out for obstacles and coordinate your movements with the other pallbearers.
Most ordinary people in modern times havening ever seen a dead person and they will all be thinking the same as you. If there are no good candidates for pallbearers among family and friends then the funeral home will provide its own. This should be arranged as early as possible. Professional funeral directors are used to stepping in as pallbearers and they can certainly arrange this when needed.
0コメント