Last weekend, another well known pastor had to step down after admitting to having had an affair. Yesterday I got a call from someone about another leader who had an affair and is stepping back. My heart is broken for the pastors and their families. For the church, for their ministries and for everyone who followed them and was impacted by their leadership.
My heart is broken for the Kingdom of God. Why does it happen so frequently —not just to preachers, but to many business leaders, politicians and other people in the spotlight? Click To Tweet. In the beginning, most pastors and leaders have excellent motives…and then something happens. I share them in the hopes they can help every leader before they get into an even slightly compromising situation, let alone an affair or other morally tainted situation.
So, as I reflect once again, here are 5 reasons I think pastors fail morally and reasons that might push me or you past the edge. I write them in the first person as awkward as it sounds because this post is intended to help those of us still in leadership, not to judge those who have fallen out of it.
So because the person whose spirit I most need to watch is mine, I phrase things personally. I also realize that even talking about the fact that this could happen to any of us is one more guard rail against it happening in my life.
And I pray it never happens. Sin usually happens in secret. And the only way to keep secrets well is to cut yourself off from true community. Isolation can be a very natural drift in leadership. Telling a counsellor is far better than telling no one. And counsellors have helped me so much over the years. When I confess my sins, I need to not only look for the obvious, but for the cracks.
For small sins that could become much bigger. For thoughts that run off in dangerous directions. Admitting your tendencies to God and even weeping over them is much easier than explaining to your wife and kids what happened one day. The fear of having to have those conversations can be very healthy and quite motivating. It should be motivating. I just would never want to betray the trust of the people I love the most and many others who would perhaps lose their faith because of a moral failure on my part.
Leaders who avoid accountability still eventually have to give account for their actions—when they get caught. Accountability and transparency are vital in leadership. And if you cultivate a great inner circle point 1 you will be a far better leader day to day. When I first started out in ministry, I met with a pastor who had just had to resign because of an affair.
He was 20 years my senior, and we met for lunch. The affair forced him out. Years later I would discover the pain of burnout personally. Nine years ago I burnt out a burn out triggered by physical and emotional exhaustion. I was so burnt out an escape from my life looked appealing.
By the grace of God, I knew enough to keep my head in the game even though my heart had stopped working. Although as Perry Noble and I discuss in this interview about how we both burned out , the sports car option still looks attractive…. The bottom line is this. You can survive, and even thrive, again one day. As to the comments section, just so you know, self-righteous, judgmental comments will be deleted.
But with the aim of helping people and seeking grace before a fall happens, not just after, what are you learning? Scroll down and leave a comment! Thank you so very much for this. I have been hurt by moral failures of clergy and the prevalence of these patterns has been difficult to understand.
Sign in. Forgot your password? Get help. Password recovery. Latest News. Third, pastors need to take ownership of their own spiritual health. Thoroughbreds are made to run fast, and they enjoy it. Recently we were working with a pastor who struggles with workaholism. He was dangerously close to imploding, so we told him he needed to slow down. It is a totally different thing to run fast for the wrong reasons and to do anything necessary to keep running. Jake is quietly piecing his life back together.
He just wants to hold on to the privilege of being a husband and a dad and figure out his walk with God. It almost destroyed his life and marriage. By the grace of God, he will recover and again be faithful and effective. But what a painful way to learn the lessons of a sustainable life of ministry.
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